......Oh, you know.

WARNING. What you are about to read is Kirstin's free-writing. It's just whatever pops into her head. So most of it won't make any sense.

GO.

This week is going by way to fast. My best friend leaves for California Saturday morning at the butt crack of dawn. :'( But I'm really trying very hard not to think about that right now. I still have two more days! It's such a bitter sweet thing, ya know? On one hand I'm soooo happy that he is able to follow his dream and be where I truly believe he needs to be at this point in his life. And the fact that he is able to do this makes me smile. But on the other hand I'm just sad. He won't be here for the late night walmart runs or talk and tuck. But that is what skype is for! All I can say is Saturday is going to be one heck of a hard day for me. Goodbyes SUUUCK.

I can not stand some people sometimes. Gah!
People who one day are normal, or as normal as they can be, and the next they go completely psycho! Then ruin a great friendship and make people feel like crap.

I've been figuring a lot of things out that I didn't really know about myself. Like I keep a lot of things (potentially good things) from happening in my life because I'm scared. Scared of change, scared that I will get hurt. I'm just one big chicken. I know the reasons why I'm scared and when I think about it enough...I feel stupid for being such a chicken. But I still can't help myself. I'm scared about a lot of things.
List. (oh how I love my lists)
Relationships. (Arms length at all times.)
Friendships. (Goodbyes = badbyes) (but happy tears will also fall- they're following their dream. That's amazing and I'm completely happy)
Family. (Blood is not always thicker than water)
Dreams. (Showing them is like showing someone my diary. It just doesn't happen very often)

And yes...I know very well that most people also have trouble with at least one of the things I listed. And yes I know they're cliche. Which is why I don't feel like going into detail about each and everyone of them at the moment. I'll just let you think what you want.

I feel myself getting deeper and deeper inside my own head. Not good. I'm a thinker and when I think to much about something..I become nervous, anxious and just not myself. I need to break this habit. I go over every word, every detail and dissect it all until there is nothing left but a head full of mumble jumble and a heart full of worry and stress.
I wish I could just always express myself through post secret posts. Even though they are written by other people, I believe that some of them are truly meant for me. (Heather, I know you'll agree)

I'm done for now.