Dear Diary...

Hhmmm... Well the past couple weeks have been quite the emotional roller coaster for me. And because of this I want to just lay in my bed and cry my heart out. But I haven't and I think instead it's coming out as grumpy :( I've been snippy and short with people which is very unusual for me. Things that normally annoy me but I keep my mouth shut about seem to annoy me 54times more now and I'm def letting people know it. NOT GOOD. I honestly think that most of it is lack of sleep...I don't sleep very well lately and I've been crazy busy the past couple weeks, so sleep is rare. And anyone who knows me knows that there are two things I need to keep me happy, nice and myself.. food(haha) and sleep. I'm good on food..its the latter that is lacking in my life. This is no excuse to be mean to people, I know. But I'm hoping I can just get it all out on here and be done with it. Get out of this stupid funk and be myself again. GAH. (deep breath..and go)
I don't understand....
When people have something that they truly do not deserve and do not appreciate!! Especially when there are people like me who deserve it and would appreciate it like non other! Why is it that I pray and hope that I have just an ounce of what they have but I never get it?! uugh. What am I doing wrong? I'm losing faith and its depressing me. (No, not like emo, gonna kill myself depressed so don't freak out!!) I'm just... lonely. Very lonely :(
Why people make sarcastic & mean comments and then laugh after every single one of them as if they are funny. They aren't!! They are just immature and annoying. I can usually deal with this and not let it get to me so much. But seriously..come on! Enough is enough.
How people can be so judgmental when they are supposed to be the ones that accept anyone how they are. No matter what! How they can be so nosy and get all up in other people's business, but when it comes to their own life they would throw a huge fit if anyone knew or talked about anything!

STROLLERS. >:(

I need a change. I don't know for sure what kind of change yet..but I know I need something to change.
I'm worried. I'm always worried. I worry that I won't make it in Art and I can't do anything else. I'm worry that I won't be able to pay for college if I get to one that I love. I'm worried that I am gonna be alone as soon as fall hits. I'm worried that I am never going to connect with my little sister and we'll never be close. I'm worried that when my job ends in Oct. I'm not gonna be able to get another one for months and I'm gonna get in a financial hole. I'm worried that my hamster is going to die soon and I'm gonna cry..even though I don't really care about animals.
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I'm gonna go watch Legion and paint my nails. Strollers tomorrow. Then movie's with Bek and Dee!! :D (that will be fun!)

This has probably been the most depressing blog post ever. I'm sorry.
(I do feel better now though. Thanks for letting me vent)

Hmmmm......

So, it's been awhile since I've blogged :( I miss it...I've just been crazzy busy with work and other such things. But I really am going to try and blog more during the summer! I promise. Well..let's see...

Work has been going great! I'm loving my car! I just colored my hair last night for the first time in awhile! And I'm in serious pain from doing races with my family? Haha. Well I don't really have a whole lot to talk about..mostly because I don't really have a life anymore(not that I've really ever had one. Ha) because all I do is wake up, go to work, come home, eat and then crash until the next day where I do the same thing. And on my days off..I'm sleeping. Haha but I'm still finding time for my best friends(duh) but other then that...I NEED to start working on my portfolio...OH! Speaking of that..I finally got more info on that school in Chicago..my mom and I are gonna go visit sometime soon! That will also help me figure out what needs to go into my portfolio. So I kinda don't want to work to hard right now, only to find out it won't even be going in my portfolio..ya know? anyway...Imma go..i've gotta babysit. I'll blog again soon..I hope!