I'm diving in. I'm gonna fallow my gut, and if I fail.... well then I'm gonna fail with style. At least I know I didn't give up. I AM going to be happy with the drawings I draw and the paintings I paint. I AM going to get into the college I love and I will succeed. Watch me. I've never been one to give up and and I'm not about to start now. Today just showed me that if I'm not bold and just jump in this head first then I just need to quit. And there was no way I was about to quit, so in head first I go. Today I also learned that I'm not going to care what people think. If they like it or not, if they get it or not. It doesn't matter... what matters is if I like it. If I keep trying to please everyone else around me I am never going to be happy with what I do. Of course I would hope that my stuff won't be hated, but if it is...then it is. Haha. Right now I just wanna draw until my fingers bleed...which it what imma do after this. I can't wait until the zoo season is over because that will free up so much of my time and make it easier for me so I'm not always so tired. Hmmmm....
(By the by, I feel as though you all should know that at this exact moment I am listening to N*sync. Just fyi. Haha)
I should really be in bed right now.
Don't let me forget, I promised Karina that I would put music on her iPod tomorrow after I get home from work and If I forget she will kill me. You know how the Russians do. ;) Lol
I took the kiddies to the zoo on Tuesday! That was so fun. Chunkers was such a hoot. She looooved the lion. The boys loved the lemurs and Karina loved the monkeys. I prefer the butterflies and the cute birdies. OH and the turtles..haha they crack me up..such a cute old couple. They're totes adorb. Do turtles mate for life? (goes to google...be back in a second...) According to Wiki..they do not. Oh well.
One thing that I've learned in the past few weeks is that the unknown truly scares me. I don't like doing anything unless I know the end result. I think I feel this way because of my past life experiences and such..but it's really something I need to learn to let go of. I can't live like that. I don't take chances, I hardly ever just live life in the moment..I always have to know what will happen next, and plan accordingly. I'm getting better though. I need to do less thinking..I mean, that's really what it is. I get into my own head, think waaay to much and psych myself out. Not good!
Okay so I'm pretty sure that 78% of this post made absolutely no sense, but whatever.
Blaah... another list...here we go..
I need to:
- Get a hair cut. SOON.
- Clean my hamsters cage.
- Put songs on Karina's pod.
- Get notebooks, folders, pens and pencils for school.
- Work on Alexander's going away present.
- Look into plane tickets for Cali.
- Get some new pants.
- Clean out my car...again.
- Make plans with few friends that I haven't seen in awhile.
- aaaaaaaaand sleeeeep.
OHkay..well I think I'm done for tonight. More to come, as always. :)
-Kirsitn
.it is 1:00 something in the morning and I have the most amazing hair right now and no one is here to witness it. Gah! Haha..
Anywhay...
Okay I'm very sorry for the looooong gaps in between my posts. I really need to keep up with this..and once summer is over, I'm sure I will be able to. So for now I will do a recap of the past weeks...
JULY:
Uuugh. What a horrible month! I really couldn't even tell you what happened day by day, because it all got smooshed together in my head and is now just one big giant horrible day. Stupid July. I don't even know how to explain why it was so bad. Lots of bad moods, lots of fights, not much fun. :( I did so much worrying and stressing over little things that I really should have just put in God's hands and let him help me...but of course, me being my hard headed self, I couldn't and I paid for it. But I'm working on that! And I'm getting better at trusting God with my life more and more. :) Glad I'm out of my July funk! So, I'm thinking I just need to forget that month and move on..
AUGUST:
I can not believe August is half way over! It's crazy how fast time is flying by. This month has been great so far, and I don't see it getting bad anytime soon! I've been hard-core working on my portfolio and I'm feeling better about it everyday. I'm still not completely confident..but who is? August also means CEDAR POINT in a few days!! :D yay!! I can not wait! It is gonna be so much fun! There is also going to be a great garage sale at the Hinsky's that will be fabulous and super fun. I'm in the process of saving for a California trip to visit Alexander in December and so that is something I'm really looking forward to! So that is August in a nutshell.
SEPTEMBER:
The month that by best friend in the entire world moves to Cali. The saddest/happiest month ever. Sad because he is truly by best friend and I don't know what I'm going to do when he is gone. Happy because this is an INCREDIBLE opportunity for him and I am extremely happy for him!!! It's quite a mix of emotions, ones that I'm really trying to think to much about, otherwise I get upset. So moving on...
A few things on my mind this very moment:
- I'm looking for a new church. (this subject deserves it own entire post so I won't really get into that one now, later, I promise)
- I've been thinking about my dad a lot the past few days and...eh, I don't know. There is this song that explains exactly how I'm feeling. "Broken Angel". It's currently my favorite song! Take a listen.
- It's WAY to soon to tell, but I think, maybe just maybe......... I don't know. We shall have to wait and see :)
- I am very happy at the moment, this month has really been good and things are good. I'm gaining a closer relationship with God everyday, and I have no doubt that is doing a great deal to make me feel a better!
Okay well I neeeed to sleep. I have such a busy week ahead of me(but a good one!)
Have a good night, whoever may be reading. :)
-Kirstin
