Uuugh. No roller skating tonight. :( oh well. ...Aaaand here we go...
This whole month as sucked so much. No joke. Why is it that I can never catch a break in life?! What on earth did I do that made all this happen to me?! Instead of having a normal life were the only thing you ever worry about is the occasional drama between friends and who you are going to date that week, NO! Heaven forbid I get that lucky. No.. I get stuck worry about things that I shouldn't have to worry about. Ever since I was 11. Yes, I know that there are people out there that have it way worse than I do. And I'm not saying that my problems are worse than theirs. But I'm seriously reaching a breaking point. For 6 years I've not once completely lost it. Never. I've always been the dependable one, the one that everyone knows will be okay. And for the most part that is true, I pride myself on that, because I am a very strong person. But I know I am about to crack. But I also know that after I do, I will be able (with the help of some close friends) to pull myself back together..but until then..
Last weekend was just the big shinny bow on top of the totally crappy week. Its not enough to have to go to a place that makes you physically sick and makes you feel like crap emotionally..oh no. I have to sit there and listen to a women (who is supposed to be the one who is always cheering me on, the one who supports and guides me) insult me and belittle me, right to my face. Basically make me feel like total crap. And what do I do...oh I just sit there and take it. Yet again. And what makes this even worse? The fact that the one person I want to stand up for me and actually be there for me FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE just sits there..nodding and agreeing. But I probably shouldn't be as hurt as I am..what did I expect?..I know how they are. Because that's how they've always been, and I put myself out there...
