Kirstin's Life.

The picture above could not be more accurate to how I am feeling. I only have a little over 3 weeks left to finish my portfolio and I am having the hardest time, ever. Inspiration is something that I am severely lacking, and that is not good when you're told that it all must be original thought. Don't get me wrong, I agree that my portfolio should be original, but that is way easier said than done! Why couldn't it be due in February? That would be way less stressful. I have so much crap going on right now-painting isn't the first thing on my mind.

I didn't sleep at all last night, I had the two WORST dreams, ever. And what makes it even worse is that I can remember both of them very clearly. Both included my two biggest fears and worries in life-which doesn't surprise me because they say that dreams are just your subcutaneous telling you stuff. They felt so real, it makes me not want to go to sleep tonight. Probably why I'm blogging instead. I should maybe do something productive, like write my stupid six page paper about the American flag for my English final. But I don't really feel like doing that, this is more fun.

I have just so much on my mind all the time-it never seems to end. My portfolio, money(or complete lack of) freakin ACT's, English class, not becoming Rory-because I know I'm stronger than that!, trying to figure out where the heck I am with God, family, holidays, portfolio, I am going to start working out soon-maybe. And so much other random crap here and there! Gah!

I just want to live! I want to seriously pack a bag and just go live, dance through the streets of an unknown town, eat food that I've never eaten, meet people I never thought I'd meet, have fun, fall in love, be carefree and adventurous, and just be happy. Maybe college isn't for me. Maybe this burning desire I have to just roam around the world, aimlessly(for a little while at least) is actually what I'm meant to do? I'm just guessing-I mean it's probably not. But what IF?!