Why?

Uuugh.
Today started off really great! Finally got to work(it was super fun, btw). Then I went to Naked Clay Cafe! That was amazing! Loved that. But as the day went on...it got very blah. And now I'm all in this depressed mood and just eeeeh. There is just constantly one big thing on my mind right now and its freakin annoying. But on top of that I have 106 other things that are just ;ALKDSFa;dsklfj. I won't be in this mood tomorrow..I know it's just tonight..but all I want to do it sleep. Which by the way I haven't in like 4 nights. I get maaaybe 2 hours of sleep..if that. I don't know why...stress maybe? I don't want to deal with the future. It really freaks me out when I think about the next year of my life... so instead of thinking.. I've been glitter gluing my work name tag and the pad lock for my locker. It's totally baller! ..I hate feeling like this because then I feel like I'm bringing everyone else down. And that is not what I want, at all! (my stomach hurts). Lately I've been feeling way to closed in. I need to branch out..come out of my box and meet knew people..do knew things! Maybe that will help make me feel better..idk. I have goals for myself when it comes to getting out. Out of my box, my comfort zone, the norm. And believe me..I will achieve these goals. I wish I was one of those people that didn't eat anything when they are depressed instead of eating the entire kitchen. Haha then maybe my losing weight goal would actually happen. ..I think another thing that is really bothering me lately is that I miss people..I hate missing people and there are just so many people that I really miss. It makes me sad..but that's life..it's whatever I guess. I need to start drinking more water during the day. My back really hurts, I wish I had a heating pad that didn't sound like it was about to explode every time you plug it in. Haha. This is just a blog about nothing..I'm sorry. I only have a few things left to do in school for this year! Wahoo! Then it's summer..YAY! ...You know what I really need?! I hobby. I think I need a hobby. I wish I had something that was just a side passion. Something that you won't do as a career or anything but it's something that you like and that's fun. Something like a sport(hahahaa me?!) Theater(nah. eh.. idk. maybe?) Cooking(pshh). I can't think of anything. :(

So here I sit, in my room..blogging my little heart out. But to completely honest..I'm not. There are so many things I wish I could write on this thing that I have just bottled up inside..but I can't. I mean..it's not like the feelings I have are mean or bad or anything! (because they aren't!) It's just stuff that would cause to much discussion... discussion that I never asked for and really don't want. So instead of saying what is actually in my head I will babble on about nothing..hoping that in doing so, something of substance will slip out. ...well..it was worth a shot. Maybe next time?