Ugh. Okay where do I start? Lets see.... I guess I'll just ramble (sorry, it might get confusing).
ART. So working on my portfolio has been sucking. I feel very blah about everything I do and I end up hating all of it. I can't seem to express myself the way that I want to and its been frustrating me. Gaah. Why is it SO hard for me to come up with original idea?! I mean I want to be an artist for goodness sake. I should at least be able to come up with something on my own. But nooo. I have very little confidence in myself and my work, I don't know what to do anymore. Is this really what I want to do with my life? YES. I know it is. Its the only thing I've ever loved. I can't see myself doing anything different. But how can I feel so strongly about this and not convey it on canvas or paper?!
MATH. I worst four letter word in the whole freakin world. This stupid math class it making me feel so stupid, I know I'm not though. I'm failing and my teacher doesn't seem to want to help. I will probably end up taking this class again. (okay, whatever..I'll do that) It just makes me mad that I am paying to take this and all he says to me is "hope you pass, there is nothing I can do for you". Really?! Like what is that?! I don't even know. I have a few more weeks to get my grade up...I need to study study study for the final and pray to God that I can pass this class. Uuuugh.
LOVE. Ugh, okay..I am not one to sit around saying "I need a boyfriend" Or " I'm so jealous..why can't I have that" ...and don't get me wrong...I am truly very happy! ...But seriously. Its getting pretty old going on facebook and see all the stupid little hearts. I know I'm only saying that because I am alone. And I know that..and I also know that when it/if it does happen to me I will LOVE seeing that little heart on facebook for everyone to see. But until then...UGH. py for every single one of those people...most of whom really deserve it and I really am happy for them. But I just can't help but think.......why not me? I'm not pathetic or anything...I won't just go out with a guy because I feel like I need a boyfriend (so don't think that) It would just be nice to have someone to talk to. Someone who calls me beautiful. Someone to hold my hand. Someone who wants to hear what I have to say. Someone who isn't afraid of my family and its past. Someone who has God in their life. Someone to text me good morning and night. Someone to kiss and cuddle with. But I don't just want this for me, I have SO much love that I would be so happy to give to someone else. I want to make some guy feel special and show that I care. hmmmm....It just gets hard being lonely sometimes. But I know(hope) my day will come soon. I know that I deserve an incredible guy. Someone who will treat me right, even when I'm grumpy or even when my family has their crazy days. I just pray that God sends me that guy, and when he does..I will be the happiest girl on the planet. :] ...but until then..I'll keep praying. (Okay...girl moment over)
Wow...that actually helped a little bit...
3 comments:
Yeah, math sucks BIG time. And you know what?? You'll never EVER use the complicated Algebra that you're learning! But I'm sure that you know that.
Any guy would be blessed to have you. That being said, he has to be a dang special guy to be able to be blessed to have you. Keep your chin up, he's out there. :-) Love you, Cous'.
I feel the same way as you do about art with dance. So woman, hit me up and collaborate. :) I'm failing math too, sooooo.. Don't feel bad! I might lose all of my scholarships too, so that's definitely not good. Ohhh well. And as for a guy.. Well, I can just do all that for you! Expect a good morning text tomorrow with a little heart. :) I LOVE YOUUUU <3 Goodnight!
:) You guys are really sweet! Thank you so much for being there for me! I love you both so much! <3
Post a Comment